Epitaph

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Ok, this blog has 98 posts (including this one) and deserves an epitaph.

Well, last night was another almost sleepless night trying to figure things out which, though clear in parts, wasn't somehow clear as a whole.
And then in the early morning something struck - it was something I came across - and then just couldn't help laughing, a long bout of hearty laughter and everything had fallen into place.


Epitaph to "Letters to a friend"

In retrospective, maybe a trigger wasn't even necessary for me to come to this decision to stop writing this blog, or put in another way, maybe I was looking for a trigger.
For a long time had been troubled by the fact that while writing this blog had caused a delving into many thoughts which I might otherwise have avoided and a thorough shake-up of many assumptions of my existence which I had taken for-granted,
there was no change in the conditions of my real-life existence.
The mismatch was getting starker and starker by the day and despite some feeble attempts, was unable to change either, the condition of my existence in the real-world or the fascination for that feeling of complete joy and liberation when publishing those posts on the blog. Given my nature things had to come to a head.

Who was that friend in 'Letters to a friend'?
There were some comments, many mails, and some feed-back in person, mostly from friends I knew well and some from people I had never met. Most assumed that they were the friend I was referring to, or that they were atleast representatives of the general class of friends I was writing to.
But throughout, that friend to who I was trying to reach out was me, myself. I could be a 'he' in one poem or a 'she' in another or a 'he' and 'she' together in some other, or anything else which came to my mind. There could be narrations of incidents or dialectical insights, yet all the time it was my view, irrespective of whether it was right or not. And while sometimes they were deeply held beliefs, at other times they could be an impulsive interpretation of a situation which touched me.

I rarely replied to comments, it was no use, there was no point of reference. One could hardly understand the full meaning of what I was trying to convey without knowing me completely as a person and even then it wouldn't be possible. And on a few occassions when I did, there were obvious difficulties.

Another confusion was the reason why there were no links to other blogs on this blog though I read quite a few blogs regularly. Well again, this blog was about me, it began and ended with me, that was all. There was no other reason, no disrespect intended.

And how do I confront when something turns out to be very unlike what I expect it to be? Again, there is no second or third party involved, irrespective of the situation. It's a search for gaps in me, a deep introspection to understand clearly. The only way I know of changing the world is by changing myself. And this periodic re-look into all my assumptions is necessary, given my independent nature.

When I had decided to close my previous blog "in search of the truth", I had been looking for a different blog hosting service to start my "letters to a friend". None were upto the mark so had to settle down with blogger again.
Will be taking a hiatus from blog-writing now.
If I decide to write again, it could be something completely different or maybe just the same but there will be another attempt to move to a different blog hosting service. Will post the link if and whenever that happens.

"Letters to a friend" has served its purpose well.
Goodbye to a friend I had through 98 posts.

Failed

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Failed.
No reasons, no explanations, no justifications, no trying to recover the situation; have nothing to offer.
Learn to live with your mistakes, Ayan.

This blog stops.

tata and take care.

Maximum working hour Rights for students :-)

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Seriously I wish there was some such thing (or is it there and I don't know?)
With classes starting at 8:30 in the morning most of the days during these post-mid sessions, and sometimes ending close to 8:30 in the night...I think I'll be spending more hours per week in the classroom than I would be spending in office per week when I start to work. And not all classes are interesting.

They must introduce a maximum work hour for students bill in Parliament soon...seriously :-D.

Sub-optimal thinking

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Hmm, have been thinking about thinking since sometime (the after-effect of a disastrous sleepless night followed by a dusastrous class maybe :-)) and as ususal I'm currently totally in tangles (that's the first step, I generally manage to untangle the tangles in due course, but sometimes my heart goes out for people who're involved with me during my tangled phase, how much they have to suffer, especially when I decide to share and argue my tangles out with them :-D)

When you're thinking (any topic, any field), how can you limit yourself to a boundary that's artificial and be happy with the solution. I mean you have to get to the extreme first... no constraints, no boundaries, no conditions...call it the ideal solution, the philosophical solution, the reasoning extreme...whatever you're comfortable with. Then impose the limits and constraints of your frame of reference, and you might get a solution which will satisfy you.

But most of us have imposed the conditions and constraints a-priori (A can't stand maths, so he'll explore only upto the non-mathematical realms; B can't be dishonest, so he'll explore only in the honest range; C can't stand philosophy, so he'll explore only in the non-philosophical range...come on it's reasoning, just reasoning...all these terms are human inventions, and how I wish they hadn't been invented...all these cups to hold the same wine and we're lost in the cups) So we're working happy with hopelessly sub-optimal solutions. I'm not saying you have to be dishonest or find philosophy in everything or so on.
What I'm saying is I'll reject Consciously, and conscious rejection can't happen till I know or explore that which I'm going to reject.

But sub-optimality works...you see it, don't you?
That most of us lead our lives on external judgements (did those judges give me the first prize, did my professor give me the highest marks, did my boss think my work as good...). So it's sub-optimality that is rewarded in the normal course of things 99% of the times (ok it's an arbit % value, I don't know the real figure :-)).

One way to break this cycle of sub-optimality is to create a solution so perfect, so beautiful, that the members in the sub-optimal system realise the perfection of it and decide by themselves to change. Einstein's relativity was such an acme, so was Tagore's prose and poetry in Bengali literature, and so was Satyajit Ray's cinematic paradigm for Indian cinema.

But most of us - with our reward system surrendered to external entities - will hopelessly look for the next messaiah to uplift us throughout our life (and till that happens maybe we wouldn't even know that we can be uplifted...lost as we are in this cycle of sub-optimality) .

I'm going to sleep as you work out the tangles :-D

Mathematical HR models, where are you!

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Well what am I doing at this odd hour? No I'm not partying or lounging around (exams got over today so that's what you are 'supposed' to do, aren't you :-)).
I'm looking for mathematical/analytical reward models in organisations...have been at it for 3 hrs now...can't find any like the one I had imagined would be available...Harvard Maps is some hope but not too much on it anywhere...c'mon there's got to be something somewhere...everything can't be in those brains of the people deciding it...then what are all those procedure documentations for?

Hmm...looks like there is a real danger of the onerous task of modelling a reward system for the first time, falling on these frail shoulders...hahaha.

FUN at the fringe

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Move I want to the edge of edge,
To hear the beat of unknown drums,
The dross of dolt bars way of mine,
Confines to routine, uninspiring humdrums.

Crescendo of fecundity felt at fringes only,
Thousand lives of banal accomplishments, not worth one,
That thrill of unknown, that edge of living,
That flash of brilliance...when living...living just for FUN.

Gimme a challenge! Save me!!

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Seriously, give me a 'real' challenge...force me to stretch myself...demand something impossible from me...inspire me to test my intellectual limits...compel me to dam this creative decay...please give me something interesting to do.

I am bored, desperately bored of this routine rut.

I'll tell you how it is in this place...it's like there are two fixed poles and your job is to run from one pole to the other and back throughout the day. Everything is defined; the pace to be followed, the length of your step, the period of your break, the swing of your hands, the stretch of your legs...everything, just everything. You're not permitted to opt out of the race. And your reward depends on how well you can brainlessly excel at following those norms.
No brain required at all, yet at the end of the day you are tired having done just nothing.

That's the kind of toil here, that's the kind of banality I'm suffering here day after day.

Wish Blogger had that mood option available in Livejournal (but the options in Livejournal wouldn't be enough :-)).
Current Mood: If boredom could kill you, I am dying!
Save me!!

Musical musings

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Have been listening to Bismillah's rendition of raag Bhairav on the shehnai latetly. Intoxicating to say the least.
Shehnai has two immediate associations for me.
One is the Indpendence day. If we (me and my brother) are at home on an Independence day, it will invariably be the Desh raag on the Ustad's shehnai that will awaken us (we would be sleeping lazily while baba would have gotten up at the break of dawn to put on the TV). And second is of course marriage. Any Bengali marriage (why bengali, any North Indian marriage) is incomplete without the strains of the shehnai. In the early mornings what better to wake up an entire marriage party than play those mellifluous strains on the shahnai...still brings back distinct memories of chhoto mama's (younger maternal-uncle's) marriage.

Different raags on the different instruments evoke such varied emotions and feelings.
For instance, malhar on the sarangi (have been looking for malhar on the sarangi mp3s for quite sometime...haven't found any yet). If you've ever visted those raparts in Rajasthan, you'd know the power and beauty of the folksy Malhar songs accompanied by the sarangi...those rural singers performing in the courtyards of those ancient forts; they are meant to appease the rain gods, and we are mere humans!

Or the power of the Tabla.
Hyderabad had this tradition of hosting ustads and pandits for all night performances every few years at the Ravindra Bharati or the Lalita Kala Thorana and in those days (before event- management had happened) it was completely free. Yet seats would stay empty...but that hardly made any difference. Whenever possible, we (our entire family) would be there and sometimes get to be a part of the magic of a Zakir Hussain and Allah Rakhan performing together; that is a performance I still remember. The power of showmanship and intense energy (Zakir) tempered by the beauty of maturity and age (Allah Rakhan).

And it's not limited to Indian music or instruments alone. Had the good fortune of listening to Jazz in the mecca of Jazz, New Orleans (had gone there for a conference a few years back). Sitting in those seedy restaurants in the French Quarter by the river-side listening to the hopes of an entire community through the depth of jazz; how could one stay untouched!

Or the roadside music in Munich (I don't even remember the name of the quadrangle). It was just two players, one on violin and one playing a cross between a piano and harmonium (don't remember the name of the instrument)...they were musicians who played on the roadside for money (can't call them beggars), but what dexterity and depth....had to postpone all my activities that evening to listen to that music in that street corner (and though I couldn't give then any money, they were so thrilled to have somebody listening to them with such absorption and respect, that they played a few special compositions for me). Had a similar experience in the New York metro stations too but was too scared at that time to enjoy it fully (that was my first foreign trip for a conference).

Lucknow is supposed to be one of the seats of Hindustani Classical music and has the famous Bhatkhande University. One dream is to attend an all-night classical performance in this city of Nawabs. Hope modern Lucknow still continues the tradition of those vintage classical performances, and hope I'll be able to find time to witness one of those before I leave this place...

Exams...the period I hate most!

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And it's back to the period I hate most, exams.
Rant, rail, crib, articles in god knows how many forums, complaints, discussions with all and sundry....nothing; nothing suffices in bringing out the extent of my disgust and disillusionment with this system of exams.

It has destroyed the joy of learning; why joy, even the meaning of learning...as the system has morphed to train people to excel at those three hour capsules of nonsense, sometimes administered by cabals with a questionable sense of judgement. The very foundation of the entire process rendered hollow by the effects of a forced lunacy of three hours...so hollow that people have assumed the lunacy and the entire build-up to that crescendo as normal and desired; and any attempt to correct it is greeted by a half-concealed smirk. An institutionalised subjugation of an individual's creativity to norms which - if he must make any real difference - he must first learn to question and then debunk if he deems so.

No I am not a victim of the system of exams, if reading the above makes you think so. Barring rare exceptions...I am supposed to have been coronated repeatedly by the system of exams...but that makes zilch of a difference. I don't have to be victimised before rebelling against something I consider bunkum.

Nah...won't write all that again...had posted something related to this on my earlier blog as well (...period that I hate most) but no point...no point atleast for now.

Carving 'the' world into 'her' world

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It was a beautiful world she abounded.
The flowers were in full bloom,
The birds chirped joyously,
And there was the essence of eternal spring;

And if there was a pest unexpected,
A thorn unwanted, or a bird hurt by careless gambol,
There she was,
Killing the pests, nipping the thorns, tending the birds,
Making sure the spring remained eternal.

Her world was ideal,
And when it was not ideal, she made it ideal.
Her world thanked her for that.
She was happy and so was her world;
But it was 'her' world.

And then the day came when she had to go out,
To 'the' world from 'her' world,
It was an arid desert,
Overwhelm, shock, suffocation; mild words these were;

And even from my distance,
I could feel the suppressed pain,
As she reminisced of her world,
A fading memory...
Guarded savagely from fading.

Yet she didn't turn back...

She planted buds in the arid land,
And watered them assiduously,
Toiled to bring water for those flowers from within her,
Day after day...
Till one morning the flowers bloomed.

Beautiful they were; scarce could I hold my delight on seeing those blooms.
She had carved 'the' world into 'her' world.

She was ecstasic again,
And the world thanked her for a beauty it had not known it possessed,

And I was content,
For she was happy and the world was happy;
And despite the distance of my perch,
in my own insignificant way,
I had tried to help her carve her world, the ideal world.

What's intuitive?

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Well this question is the after-effect of a discussion with a friend yesterday...I've thought about this question many times earlier too, yet haven't been able to come up with a precise solution that satisfies me completely (ok, accepted very few things satisfy me :-)).

By intuitive I'm not referring to an approach to solving maths problems...what I'm refering to is the most natural way of doing things. Say wearing a sari is intuitive to our mothers (I'm not referring to new age moms), or using a mobile is intuitive to most people on this campus or using e-mails is intuitive to a whole generation brought up on computers. (maybe blogging will become intuitive for the next generation :-))

Any new technology/innovation changes what is intuitive, or what is the most prevelant way of doing things at the time of introduction of the technology/innovation. And that's one reason why new technology/innovation finds difficulty in gaining acceptance.
A walk-man changed the way I listened to music, and initially it wasn't intuitive or natural with those headphones and that bulk in my pocket, but nowadays it's almost as passe as doing anything else. Take any innovation in any field and you'll find this dilemma. It initially starts off by being very counter-intuitive to the 'usual' way till a point in time comes when the counter-intuitive becomes intuitive. And yet new technologies try their best to be as intuitive as possible in the the prevelant circumstances of introduction.

But what is currently intuitive is the result of a previous innovation...in trying to confirm to that definition of intuitive am I not cutting down on the quantum of innovation I would otherwise create. An ape-man would find everything counter-intuitive in even dida's (grandma's) generation, and if we had stuck to keeping new innovations intuitive from then on, would we have progressed at all?

On the other hand by being counter-intuitive, any new technology creates or exacerbates divisions in the society. Sometimes an entire segment falls behind in the march of progress because they're not able to get intuitive enough with something new and it's not always their fault. And this could be prevented if one could provide the new capabilities under garb of the existing intuitiveness. But how long would that be feasible?

I'm not sure, but my feeling is that in the long run only the 'best' innovation thrives irrespective of whether it's intuitive or not (what's intuitive will change if the innovation is worth it).

But there are two things that are important:

- Humans have a capability to accept jumps but that capability is limited if the time-frame is limited. So in the short run, that technology/innovation would do best (from the business point of view) that lies within this capability-band.
(There are some theories to judge this capability-band but I'm not too convinced with atleast the ones I've read...and for my own theory...another post...keep reading this blog :-)).

- The rules change completely from one intuitive framework to another (the new technology/innovation, the reason for this change). So if there are many competing innovations, it is imperative for the competitors to realise when the intuitive jump has happened among the target segment. Once the intuitive jump happens, the rules, the framework and even competition is completely different. The competitor might at best become a marginal player among an unitiated fraction of the segment. So if you are a competitor, you have to attack with all you have, before or at least when this change in intuitive framework is happening.
(Again there are many theories to judge the stage in this leap of intuitive frames, and again I'm not too happy with any...yes, I have my own theory and no I won't reveal it in this post :-D).

Well, I guess I've started repeating myself too much :-), so will conclude this post here but there's a lot more in my mind on this and hopefully I'll post all that sometime soon...

Appearing dumb!

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There are so many ways in which you can end up looking like a fool, complete fool!

Somebody messages on Yahoo Messenger; the name is that of a good friend's, and soon there is a pleasant conversation flowing.
The conversation is nearly right...hmm nearly...but his answers are just a little too formal and sometimes just a little bit irrelevant...I mean he's supposed to be a good friend of mine.
Till halfway into the converstion, I've asked some god-damn personal question (luckily did not err on the side of revelation, or did I :-)) and then there's that odd delay in reply...
And then realisation dawns on this empty tank fixed on the neck...that this person might...just might be somebody else, and I end up trying to confirm...

Well guess what...he's a junior at IIM-L who'd written to me a long time back, and all the while I had assumed him to be my good old buddy from IIM-C; both have the same first name.

Yours sincerely had done the 'appearing dumb' trick again, but true to his reputation, he'd discovered a dumber style of looking dumb :-).

The Illusory Oasis

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(Class got over earlier than expected, time to scribble a little :-))
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He had struggled for aeons through the desert,
Endless dunes is all he had seen in years so many,
Had imagined oases, all meaningless mirages; always,
And had reconciled to his destiny, the barren desert.

Scared he was of those illusory oases,
For his dreams had been smashed countless times,
He couldn't bear being shattered again, and again, and again...
So he gave up dreaming;

And after ages he had seen an oasis again,
He had seen...or maybe had allowed himself to see,
And he had felt the old thrill, the same scare,
He had felt...or maybe had allowed himself to feel;

And I prayed for him and for the desert,
That this time it wasn't a mirage.

Ok, I had to come back

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Ok, I'm back to writing the blog again...just can't get myself to try to understand the lines in those books...haven't done anything useful in the last 72 hrs (useful in the sense of the term as used by the world) and god knows when my order will be restored.

What's the use of that understanding which I insist upon so much anyway...in the exam I have to produce, not what I understand as right, but what the instructor thinks is right even if it is trash (and most often I can't do that). In projects it is constraints which determine the output rather than the actual understanding, sometimes even when no constraints actually exist. On the job, it'll be what the boss/colleague or customer wants.
OK, one can fight it out and convince others if one truly believes in it, or get convinced if he/she discovers the flaw in his belief...but what do you do if everybone knows what is wrong but still chooses not to see it...
Conspiracy of 'looking normal'...
I mean the system is such that it's so easy to do something that's totally, obviously wrong;
while the whole world is against you if you're trying to do it right...and that's no longer amusing.

A guy was sharpening his pencil and throwing the trash just outside the library door dirtying the otherwise clean quadrangle. Some other guy pointed it out to him, and my god!, what a look!!, not only from the guy who was dirtying the place but also from the guard on-duty. That 'other guy' will now think thrice before doing some such thing...and all through all parties knew what was right.

And it gets even more difficult to digest when those same people start discoursing about virtues at forums and times of their convenience...going to the extent of candidly accepting their own flawed actions and justifying it through sophistry...and it is all done in a tone so fortright that everybody accepts them as saviours. Anyway half the public lacks the capability to see through their sophistry and accepts them as heroes. And the other half which sees through the sophistry is impressed by the candidness and projected earnestness, so they too will not oppose. It's a win-win situation, even if the entire basis is just bogus.

...and how do you manage to lead that everyday life of yours as if nothing has happened; or have you lost your power of feeling; or maybe you too are a part of that conspiracy of 'looking normal'...I was just naive to think of you as otherwise...

This conspiracy of 'appearing normal', it'll suffocate me unless I break it down completely.

Bargaining...

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The trigger now is a discussion I was witness to, involving two people bargaining the price for a Nokia handset. (I seem to be observing and complaining a lot these days... observing I've always done, but complaining...hum, that requires explanation in another post! :-))

Won't deny that I have engaged/continue to engage in the practice of bargaining, though very infrequently. It is generally either to understand the process/art of bargaining or to prevent getting fleeced completely (which happens often :-)).

But I still don't understand the justification of bargaining...
Doesn't the seller realise his/her worth or the worth of what he/she is trying to hawk, and if he/she does how can he/she settle at any other price?
And on the other side of the fence, by bargaining am I not distrusting the other person's assessment of his/her own worth and judgement...who am I to do that, that too in so short a transaction?

When the first interaction I have with somebody is characterised by distrust, how can I ever build a relationship with him/her? By bargaining, right from the beginning I'm doubting the individual's judgement and thus destroying the most important basis of engagement.

One thing I've tried many times and it works...it's something like this...I just say to the other guy that I trust you completely and I'll pay whatever you ask because you believe it is worth it; it's like I surrender myself completely to him/her (ok it's not always so dramatic but that's the gist)...and more often than not instead of taking advantage of this surrender, the other guy then just quotes the right price and that's not all, he tries to justify his earlier action of quoting the exorbitant price and sometimes asks pardon...

Have tried this at numerous places...autos, taxis, rickshaws street-side hawkers, big bargain stores abroad...and rarely has it failed.

If you can free a human from his/her circumstance, even momentarily, you'll rarely find him sticking to his/her reprobative qualities...
(but for this to happen, you have to be ready to be completely honest yourself first)

This is what my limited understanding and experience tells me, is there any other perspective which I might have overlooked?

Sarkar and Sarkari cars

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Finally managed to create time for a movie in the theatre. Watched Sarkar.
No comments about it here, there are enough in the journals already and you can watch it to form your own opinion.
We watched it at Waves, one of the poshest multiplexes at Lucknow.

But what was amusing was the scene outside the hall (This is not the first time I'm seeing such a scene but just that this time I feel like writing about it). The entire place was choc-o-bloc with Govternment vehicles, all with "On Duty" boards but there were only ladies and children coming out of them or getting into them! And while ordinary vehicles were stopped and redirected to the parking lot, these vehicles came right upto the stairs ignoring the calls from the security guards (they were 'on duty', weren't they?).

Just that it was a little more difficult to digest this than it usually is after watching Sarkar.
(Well, I did take a message from the movie though I'm not sure if the director wanted to convey that message!)

Her dance

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It was as if the universe was in a trance,
As she went on with her frenzied dance,

In the middle of the desert, in the heart of the forest,
In the depths of the oceans, in the laps of the valley;

Till the rains had to drench the desert to touch her,
But they could not touch her;
And the fire had to scorch the forest to see her;
But he could not see her,
And the tempest had to eat up the ocean to swallow her,
But it could not swallow her;
And the gods had to descend to the valley to bless her,
But they could not bless her;

For she was dancing for her own joy,
A joy which others could only perceive but never partake.

Anyway

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If I didn't do it, he would have done it anyway,
If I didn't lead it, she would have led it anyway,
If I didn't follow it, he would have followed it anyway,
If I didn't win it, he would have won it anyway,
If I didn't lose it, she would have lost it anyway,
If I hadn't created it, he would have created it anyway,
If I hadn't destroyed it, she would have destroyed it anyway.

If I weren't doing what I am doing, he or she would have done it anyway;

If I weren't born, would a thing be any different from what it is anyway?
Or just another replaceable part of a 'machine' I don't understand, is that all I am anyway?

An evening of aimless flow

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After so many days an evening when I resolved to do nothing deliberately... no academic study, no non-academic study, no discussions, no replying to mails, no going out, no talking to friends, no analysis of issues, nothing...wherever the aimless flow takes me...

Had lost concentration and patience in a class today and was trying to figure out what others were doing.
I've noticed it so many times, but still can't fully understand it...the writing of one's own name and embellishing it.
A name to me is nothing more than a concise representation of something; a trick I have to play on my mind due to its doltishness and incapacity; very replaceable and coincidental, and with no other significance whatsoever.

But maybe there is more that I don't understand...

Two classics by Cavafy

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Maybe you've read Constantine Cavafy, reputed as one of modern Greek's finest poets.

Following are the English translations of two of his most acclaimed poems. They are classics in the Greek language and have meanings at many layers.

The first poem (The god forsakes Antony) is based on Plutarch's story and is an advice to Marcus Antonius (Anthony) on the last night before the fall of the great city of Alexandria, a poem on how one might face a great loss.

The second one (Ithaka) provides an interesting perspective on the necessity for ideals and goals, and the importance of the journey. It is one of my personal favourites.

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The god forsakes Antony
-Constantine P. Cavafy (1911)
(Translated by Edmund Keeley and Philip Sherrard )

When suddenly, at midnight, you hear
an invisible procession going by
with exquisite music, voices,
don’t mourn your luck that’s failing now,
work gone wrong, your plans
all proving deceptive—don’t mourn them uselessly.
As one long prepared, and graced with courage,
say goodbye to her, the Alexandria that is leaving.
Above all, don’t fool yourself, don’t say
it was a dream, your ears deceived you:
don’t degrade yourself with empty hopes like these.
As one long prepared, and graced with courage,
as is right for you who were given this kind of city,
go firmly to the window
and listen with deep emotion, but not
with the whining, the pleas of a coward;
listen—your final delectation—to the voices,
to the exquisite music of that strange procession,
and say goodbye to her, to the Alexandria you are losing.

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Ithaka
-Constantine P. Cavafy (1911)
(Translated by Edmund Keeley & Philip Sherrard)

As you set out for Ithaka
hope your road is a long one,
full of adventure, full of discovery.
Laistrygonians, Cyclops,
angry Poseidon-don't be afraid of them:
you'll never find things like that on your way
as long as you keep your thoughts raised high,
as long as a rare excitement
stirs your spirit and your body.
Laistrygonians, Cyclops,
wild Poseidon-you won't encounter them
unless you bring them along inside your soul,
unless your soul sets them up in front of you.

Hope your road is a long one.
May there be many summer mornings when,
with what pleasure, what joy,
you enter harbors you're seeing for the first time;
may you stop at Phoenician trading stations
to buy fine things,
mother of pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
sensual perfume of every kind-
as many sensual perfumes as you can;
and may you visit many Egyptian cities
to learn and go on learning from their scholars.

Keep Ithaka always in your mind.
Arriving there is what you're destined for.
But don't hurry the journey at all.
Better if it lasts for years,
so you're old by the time you reach the island,
wealthy with all you've gained on the way,
not expecting Ithaka to make you rich.
Ithaka gave you the marvelous journey.
Without her you wouldn't have set out.
She has nothing left to give you now.

And if you find her poor, Ithaka won't have fooled you.
Wise as you will have become, so full of experience,
you'll have understood by then what these Ithakas mean.

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Uniting Principle

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The same models wherever I see,
Analogous principles wherever they may be,
In countless endeavours, seemingly endless sea,
Consistent canons of logic, bewitching simplicity.

For narrow disciplines are creations humans',
Isolated branches is not the natural tree,
The common principle, that thread of unity,
Uncovering that uniting principle will my redemption be.

Moments of life

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Few moments of joy, a few of despair,
A few of longing, a few beyond repair;

That moment of suffocated frustration,
This moment of boundless joy,
Those moments of desperate boredom,
Some moments that even now annoy;

Moments spent dreaming on a bench by the wayside,
Moments of wonder at stars so many,
Moments of elation at that insignificant act of gratitude,
Some moments of madness, moments unlike any;

Few moments are all that remain of life,
Jewels to treasure from years so many,
Priceless diamonds you seldom realise,
till a turn in life when you look back...
Searching frantically for THAT moment, from moments so many.

Working to death

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He worked...worked...worked,
For himself, for the love of his work,
for what he thought was right;
Not for credit, not for recognition;
He did not get any anyway.

In the world's eyes he was slipping,
and slipping...and slipping;
Yet he did not really care,
For he knew he was in the right,
And the world knew it too...

He worked himself to death.
Was his death wasted?

Milegi milegi

-
From the album Sunoh,
lyrics:Aslam, performed by Lucky Ali
--
Milegi milegi manzil
Chalke kahin door,
Aaye hain chale jaane ko
Aaye hain chale jaayenge
Door majboor, door majboor.

Milegi milegi...

Kaisi hai yeh duniya
Pyaar ka namo nishaan nahin,
Nadaan duniya waley dekho
Yahaan pey koi imaan nahin,
Akeley dhoondhtey...

Savera savera
Savera savera aayega, chal ke do kadam,
Faasley ghat jaayenge hosley badh jaayenge,
Chal ke do kadam.

Milegi milegi...

Chaltey duniya wale saarey
Rah magar anjaan kahin,
Main to hoon deewana meri deewangi benaam sahi,
Akeley dhoondhtey...

Mohabbat mohabbat
Mohabbat mohabbat milegi, chal ke do kadam,
Saathi se mil jaayenge
Baharein phir khil jaayenge,
Chal ke do kadam.

Milegi milegi...

A logistical nightmare!

-
Trying to work out a trip for a conference to China through a travel agent in Bangalore with the consulate in Mumbai/Delhi when you yourself are glued 24X7 to classes in Lucknow is by itself a logistical nightmare.
And add to that the prospect of convincing professors for leave of absence, and then you know the magnitude of the odds stacked against your attending a fully paid-for invited conference in the land of the dragons (isn't it obvious that seeing these things first hand is worth much more than a week of classes where - in the end- you're trying to understand the same thing through only simulated cases...wish it was obvious to everybody :-)).

Fingers crossed :-)

Imrana...

-
The Imrana case is finally being debated openly on various forums; a thin ray of hope of justice for the victim, and a society where such victimisations occur.

And we have a lady in the most powerful position of the country...
(I know Dr. Manmohan Singh is the PM)
And we have a National Commission for Women...
And we have various other institutions...
But we live in a society of vote-banks. So even those who'll oppose will oppose not because they consider the episode as violating all norms of human society, but because it caters to their own vote bank. This includes the media as well; these episodes are mere opportunities for them to multiply their reach, the more the dramatisation, the better for them.

Since childhood we've grown up learning to look the other way or keep silent as long as our own interests are achieved or not negatively affected (you're patted on the back as 'mature'). So even when somebody beside you is copying, 'honesty' at most lies in not seeing or showing your answer sheet; anything beyond that is unnecessary and risks your self interest. And anyway, by not being involved, you've managed to get your badge of honesty to boast to your own ego and to your other friends!

But even by the logic of self interest - understood properly - such courses of action are impossible to justify. It's only because we're incapable of seeing or understanding our self-interests in the long run that 'looking the other way' appears so attractive to us. Every single individual's interest is affected in the long run when things start falling apart; but by then it is too late for anybody to make any difference. But that's too far ahead into future for our everyday intelligence to cognise.

And we'll continue to be victimised till we realise this...

Insti Parties and The Collective

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The 'mass' never ceases to amaze...the outcome of the collective can be so different from individual aspirations...in fact one can easily manipulate it to be so. Does the collective have a life of its own, impossible to derive from individual cogs (as complexity theorists would argue)?

Observing these insti parties is always so stimulating and instructive. (After this sentence, I know you've classified me as insane :-), it doesn't matter; the desire to understand, that's what brings me to all sorts of places)
Play the songs in a different order and the aggregate frenzy is of a different kind. Serve slightly different drinks (or slightly change the quantities) and the outcome of the collective is so very different. The volume of the music, the beats, the lighting, its stength or frequency of flicker... all variables one can utilise to tailor the mood of the collective. At what stage does the individual will cease to resist and give in to the communal without recourse to reason; in fact enjoys the surrender? When does the group become a single entity swayed by a handful of variables controlled by a cabal?
And then observing the individuals...how somebody works through the mass to reach out to a target....how the individual gets trapped into a course of action which he/she wouldn't ordinarily do, just to stay in a peer group...the amazing change in certain individuals as inebriation progresses...

I can go on and on about my observations and inferences...

The 'collective from individual' theme is everywhere, right from the high-end processors that power mankind's technology to the politics that supposedly facilitate the realising of human aspirations.

Understanding clearly how the collective arises from the individual is probably the first step in distinguishing a Gandhi from Hitler; not in hindsight after all is over, but when the hypnosis actually on.

The 'Bubbly girl'

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[All characters in this post(except me of course) are purely fictional. Any resemblance to any living person is regretted. The dead are beyond the scope of this post.]
-
Nowadays with the overpopulation in the mess, you end up sitting on tables with diverse, different bunches, every single meal of the day. And sometimes the discussions you get to overhear are pretty amusing.

First the context (if you've not figured already from the title) ; a new segment seems to have been added to the pre-existing segments into which pretty members of the opposite sex are getting classified. And that's the 'bubbly girl' segment.
Now what exactly are the attributes of a 'bubbly girl', that's been the source of many a passionate discussion at mess tables (Plz remember that this is a discussion among b-school grads, prospective marketing and advertisement whizs, so they've got to use special jargon in special ways for ordinary things; it makes them feel special :-)).

-"The bubbly girl must be intelligent and independent because Preity Zinta, the mascot is intelligent and independent."
(Guess he keeps a dossier on Ms Zinta's life :-))

-"o, the bubbly girl must be dumb because Zinta, throughout her career has been dumb enough to fall for dumb heroes in dumb movies."
(I love this line :-))

-"But we're missing the point, it's not Zinta but the advertising manager's mind that'll tell us about the bubbly girl; now since he's chosen Zinta with so many other faltering/aged super-stars in a single ad, what does that convey about the bubbly girl positioning; insecurity, a need to recapture the centrestage at all costs."
(I'm too scared to imagine what our friend will do when he becomes an advertising manager :-))

-"Ah we're missing the central thing, it's Pepsi that's the bubbly product. What we've got to understand is whether Pepsi has an intelligent brand image, then we'll know whether the bubbly girl is intelligent."
(Now don't ask me how a bottle of coloured water could have an intelligent image :-))

Well, I'm not sure if a final consensus was reached, but one thing is for sure, that Pepsi ad is a huge hit :-).